The day after Christmas

The day after Christmas is usually the day when I go to target and buy Christmas decorations at 50 to 90% off. Today is a Sunday so I am at home resting on this Sabbath. I find my self feeling very reflective.

Late Christmas Eve, Dean and I were noticing that it didn't feel like Christmas. The weather played a big role in that. Ususally, in our Colorado location, we get some snow in December. It has been a tradition to go sledding on Christmas Eve before our dinner. It has been sunny and in the 50s. I am not complaining. I was wishing for a mild winter. Now that I've got it, I have to accept that a mild winter includes no sledding and no cozy, sit by the fire and drink hot chocolate feeling.

Christmas Eve was wonderful this year. Dean and I finished the tile floor at 4 am early Christmas Eve morning. We got about 4 hours of sleep before we awoke and started our day. Dean made everyone a breakfast of eggs and sausage. He went shopping with the boys and Sydney, Quinn and I stayed home. I cleaned up the house and prepared the home for our coming Chistmas celebrations. After lunch and some candy making, we went to the mall to see if we could find a Santa.

I have never been to a mall on Christmas Eve. In my mind, I thought that most people would be home with their families. Apparently, that is not the case. The mall was mobbed with many people. We were not deterred. We went into the mall and were determined to find Santa and his elves. We looked around awhile and finally found him on a lower floor. After finally arriving to the line to see Santa, we quickly got in line. Only a few minutes later, a fellow who was only doing his job had to inform us that unless we had a Santa express ticket (which were sold out) we would have to get out of line. Reluctantly, we did get out of the line. Our spirits weren't too dampened. We found a pet shop with puppies, kittens, and hamsters. They were so adorable! I wanted to take one home right then. But, I had to hold back those feelings because we weren't prepared to get a puppy just yet. Oh, it would be so much fun to get a cute little doggie! But it is better to think things through and be prepared.

When we got home, we had a dinner of soup and crusty bread in the newly put together dining room to candlelight. Yummy! Afterward we had our nativity scene. Ethan and Seth did some of the filming. Then we had egg nog and an opening of a present. The kids went to bed soon after. Then Santa arrived! It was around 1 am. It was a wonderful Christmas! So much fun. Only 363 more days until next Christmas....

Sleep,

I am so sleep deprived. I haven't had an uninterrupted nights sleep for many, many years. I miss sleep. I remember when I used to go to sleep at night and know that I would fall into a deep slumber and wake up feeling bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Those days are gone. Now when I go to sleep, I wonder how many minutes of sleep will I get until I am awakened by a child who had a bad dream, a restless little one who is missing the babyhood days when they shared a room with mom and dad, a crying baby who is teething, hungry, or just out-of-sorts because of traveling or some milestone. Then there are the pregnant days when I am awakened because I am hungry, need to change position or am just restless with a growing baby inside. Someday I will get rest. But will it be the same? I am a mother now.

More Birthday for Ethan and Seth

Their party was on a Saturday. Their birthday was on a Monday. As usual, we decorated the dining room and prepared the presents. In the morning, we usually have cake, but we had their cake on Saturday, so they had ding dongs with a candle in it. They unwrapped their presents, then got ready for school. After school, later that night, we went to Target and each picked out their big present.

Seth and Ethan turn 10

Ethan and Seth turned 10 this year on October 25. We do birthday parties on the even years. So this was a party year. I knew this in the back of my mind, but life is so busy these days that I often find myself just trying to survive. As their birthday drew closer, they started talking about their birthday party. I knew that I was going to have to pull something out of a hat. So I decided we'd invite one friend each and they could go to brunswick zone and have a pizza party at our house. They each invited Ethan Wallace and Aaron Spencer. Ben and Sydney also went along with them. Michael stayed home and was not too happy about it, but we managed. They had a good night.

Monday November 15, 2010

Benjamin's baptism is coming up. We have been working to get things put together for that with the program, reserving the church, pictures, invitations, food planning. November is busy because we have Michael's birthday, Ben's birthday, and Thanksgiving which usually means traveling to Utah. This year it includes Ben's baptism and everything that goes with it. I am so proud of my sweet Ben. All of the planning and the traveling will be worth it to have family support encircling my Ben on his special day.

All of the kids

Quinn 6 days old

Quinn 5 days old

The first week after Quinn was born has been blissful and challenging as I have come to expect after a new baby is born. We love him!

Quinn one day old

The children were all asleep when Quinn was born. In the morning, they all came in to meet him.

Happy Birthday Quinn

Quinn Thomas Smurthwaite was born March 26, 2010 at 10:50 pm. He weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz. I went into labor at about 1:30 pm. I called Dean at 2:30 pm to tell him that I was in labor and he should come home. He asked me if he should call the midwives and I said yes only because the contractions were 2 minutes apart and lasted 45 seconds. But, I soon discovered that my labor would slow down. In the beginning, especially after the midwives got to our house, I felt really jittery, anxious, and tired all at the same time. I wanted to lay down and take a nap except when I sat down or rested, my labor would slow. It was already 4 pm and I wanted to get some sleep that night, so I would stand up, walk, and do whatever it took to keep the labor going. We have a labor tub called an aquadoula that we fill up with water and have in our room. I have had a waterbirth with all of my babies except my twins who were born in a hospital. Even with the twins I labored in a tub. So I have a special attachment to water while I am in labor.

I got in the tub while I was 5 centimeters dilated. The water was so warm and relaxing. I soon realized that my labor was slowing down. My contractions were getting farther and farther apart. The labor tub was right by my window. I looked outside and saw that it was gently snowing outside. I was so glad. For some reason I wanted to labor have my baby during a snowstorm. I knew that I had a long way to go. I started to feel scared and tired in anticipation for what was coming. The midwives were outside the door and everyone was just waiting for me to have this baby. I started to wonder how I could convince everyone to take me to the hospital where I could get an epidural and sleep. I knew that labor is intense and takes a lot of focus and energy. I was feeling so tired. The past few months had really taken their toll on me with sickness in the house, the loss of income, and all of the adjustments that we had to make.

I had my hypnobirthing CD's on in the background. They spoke all kinds of affirmations about how I can choose to do this. It was at that time that I really did know that I could do it and I chose to. The CD's and the hypnobreathing techniques really were so great. The labor really wasn't that bad. It was managable. In looking back, I felt like I could do it again.

I remember at one point Dean fell asleep. It was really close to when Quinn was born. I was in the water in a squat and focusing. I wondered where Dean was and I looked back on the bed and he was sleeping. Maren, my midwife, said that it was really wise for him to get a few minutes of sleep. I know that it was wise, but I wanted Dean right there with me during every single surge. I soon called him over and told him I wanted him to join me in the water. My midwives were so supportive. I felt very safe. Quinn was born in the water soon after Dean got in the water. Dean delivered him and brought him out of the water up to my chest. What a beautiful baby boy! Oh, I just love this sweet little baby. I immediately said, "Get my mom!" She came in the door. She had been waiting outside. I was so glad that she had been there for this wonderful moment. She had taken care of the other children and put them to bed that night. I am so thankful for my wonderful mother!

Soon we were nestled in bed. Quinn was nursing and I was resting feeling complete bliss. What a wonderful night!

Zoo Fun

The day after my due date, which was Sydney's birthday, we decided that instead of watching the water boil (me go into labor), we went to the zoo to have fun.

More birthday pictures

Sydney turns 5

Our sweet little Sydney turned 5 years old on March 22!

9 month Belly

Dean wanted to capture the belly just a few weeks before Quinn was born.

March 2010: moments on the couch

February 2010 Ethan's picture, glasses, and baking

When the children make art at school and it is too large to keep in a binder, we will take a picture of it. We remember it that way. We started to bake a lot of muffins and cookies in February. The kids needed snacks at school and we could not afford to buy any. Baking is a very inexpensive way to achieve that and it is a lot of fun for all of us to work in the kitchen making yummy treats. Dean is a great baker. He can make a really great muffin.

February 2010

There were no pictures taken in January 2010. The cloud of despair was lifting somewhat. Dean was getting more legal work and working from home. We thought that this was going to be the new normal. I started to adjust to Dean being home and it seemed like things were going to be ok.

I am 8 months pregnant in these pictures. We took these pictures after meeting with a Realtor. We were weighing our options with regard to moving to a rental home or sticking it out with our mortgage. In the end, staying put for now seems like the wise choice.